Frustrations of a wannabe intellectual

I am really struggling with getting my creative juices flowing again. I see little flashes of brilliance but they are fewer and farther between than I would like. I have already started to read Fahrenheit 451, trying to get a jump on the class work, and found myself more than a little disturbed by the picture of society drawn in this book. Drawing so many parallels to the human condition of today, it is very unnerving. I have begun to take this bleak picture as a personal call to arms. For many years, I have simply gone with the flow. Work, children, home… work, children, home… blah, blah, blah and on and on, and I find myself sucked down into a chasm of apathy and mindlessness. I have always considered myself to be bright, (straight A’s on my fourth grade report card, thank you very much!) but the ensuing years have definitely dulled my intellect. For example, I do not completely understand the fire that drives people’s love of politics. I have a few friends that are so passionate, knowledgeable, inquisitive, and sharp about these issues, and I envy them. Another example, my Mythology professor showed an interview of a renowned Mythologist, his extemporaneous questioning of common day beliefs and his ability to comparatively analyze thousand-year-old cultures and their beliefs and draw connections to the human experience in modern day, I found riveting. I was awed not by the factual basis of his knowledge, not the recitation of historical dates or events but of the way he could think outside of the box, so to speak. The very passion he exuded in his dialogue, I found myself want for that type of fire. So part of my journey is definitely to re awaken within myself my deeper thinker. I feel I have become something of an internet vagabond, shuffling from one pointless stop to another with no focus or reason for my journey than to meander pointlessly. This pointless surfing, coupled with my mini addiction to online games and solitaire, wastes much of my limited free time. I have vowed to unplug myself from these pass times. And with the help of my English professor, perhaps unbeknownst to her, I shall write, even a few minute, every day. To what end? I am unsure, probably not unraveling any of the great mysteries of life, but rather, perhaps, to rediscover within myself a passion that has gone unfed…