Ramblings of a Hopeful Parent- part 2

I am trying to balance parenthood, womanhood and studenthood, if that makes any sense. My children still need a fully present parent, one that is engaged and involved in their day-to-day activities. As a single woman rapidly approaching the big four- ohhhh, ugh, I keep thinking I would like to have a significant other, in theory! Moreover, a larger concern than this is giving enough time and attention to my education to make the most of this opportunity. My priority is definitely my children, overall, but I am having a few guilty feelings. Mostly on the weekends when I pull away for some, much needed quiet time for schoolwork. I suppose I wonder if this will have any negative long-term effects on my kids, requiring them to pick up more responsibilities of watching the little one. I have heard on more than one occasion “It wasn’t my choice to have another kid!” This both infuriates me and then brings feelings of guilt as a parent. True, my older three did not have a say in the bringing another baby into the family, but on the other hand, is it not part of being a family. To pitch in wherever needed to make sure everyone is successful? Am I being selfish in trying to get this education under my belt now, instead of waiting? I can make a good argument for plugging ahead, improving the quality of all of our lives, financially; showing my older children what can be accomplished with a little effort. Or is this all just a grand justification for parental neglect? I don’t know. In the end, I am not sure of the answer. Perhaps without the added burden of school I would still have feelings of inadequacy as a parent. As for a social/ dating life, maybe once I’m done with school… or maybe not!